i want candy

I know a girl who's tough but sweet
She's so fine, she can't be beat
Got everything that I desire






i want candy
i want candy
i want candy
i want candy

[top CANDY photo by K. Tanaka from a Barcelona market. For me that is heaven and quite stylistically inspirational]

ran away

i was going to say hello
but you ran away
i was going to say i love you
but i knew you wouldn't stay
(but i said it anyway)
i always put my all into to every toss of line
that pure hope encroaches on my sensibility
i want love
the seas is full of interesting creatures they say
who are they?
for me, there seems to only be you
but you ran away
you've been running away since our first time
a master illusionist
made me feel safe
so the walls slipped down
and i barely noticed
your skills
you saw the ins and outs of me
right away
the secret passageways
the cellar entrance to the depths of my heart
you penetrated
but then you ran away
so subtle
never breaking a sweat
not appearing like you are running
let alone, away
away from me
at all
but now i know better
you were always at arms length
and an ocean away
from this love
from our love
from Us
i was going to say hello
but you ran away
again
but this time i had asked you to stay away
give me space
when really all i was granting
was you the space
space that you had already placed between
all along
space that you have placed between you and the world
deeper and wider
than the Atlantic
my heart aches
but it will heal
and you will keep running
but away from what?
i don't know.
but it won't be me anymore

in the mood for love

crimson coloured
blood let from the artery
mi corazon
thump thump thump
tickled pink
you give me a head rush everytime
sweet as sugar
delicate as a flower
you are part of my bones
what makes me
soft petal lips
graze flesh
and it blushes before the molecule touch
and swoon
you always put me in the mood for love
darling

a wise woman once shared this with me....

and it has made all the difference
[but i still need the reminders]

there are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world, it's the beginning of a new life.

when you become good at the ART of letting sufferings go, then you will come to realize what you were dragging around with you all that time. and for that, no one else other than YOU was responsible.

to let go isn't to forget, not think about or ignore. it doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy or regret. letting go isn't about winning or losing. its not about how you appear and its not about obsessing or dwelling on the past.

I dreamed of you - every day and every night

i dreamed of you
every, everyday
everyday

i dreamed of you
every, everyday
everyday
and every night

i dreamed of you
every, everyday
everyday
every night

i dreamed of you
every, everyday
everyday
every night

everyday
everyday
and every night

brother of sleep by soap&skin
photo by Felipe Vasquez (All rights reserved) Cindy Sherman inspired

[thats me, hehe]

sucre

designer
and always French
divine whimsical colours and those heavenly textures
john galliano for dior, marni, collette, and louboutin have done collections
so but of course, i shall ooze like delicate jam and ganache between light discs of cake
MACARONSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!










délicieux

just because

and he's handsome
and j'adore pompadours
and he looks like CDH
[and i miss that hair]

covet

lace back blouse, diy preferred

delicious skinny genned/jean-ed blondes in combat boots

platformed man pumps; blue suede shoes

mcqueen asymmetry and cut-out leggings

this whole LOVELY look

d-squared's breath-taking rib back frock

gauzy cotton layers

polka dots and stripes

vivienne westwood, as always

whimsical yet ladylike practical heels

here's hoping
*wishes*

whimsical silvester

have fun everyday
be brilliant

share the love

embrace your inner child

enjoy the sweetness of every moment

take the time to take it all in

relax, go with the flow

vamp it up, no day but today

be silly and ladylike

stand out, stand tall, be original, the original you

enjoy the small things, enjoy the people around you, smile

a new year

give self credit
hear the words you are saying
function
things to do
get out of the house
have purpose
underlying sadness
not a fly on the wall
shake her handle of my life
settled
don't want to be the fly
want to be in the mix
positively
going with the flow
try things
learn
not worrying
apathetic
scared
scary
what are rules?
stay in moment
life is a process of CHANGE
seeing good over bad
circles of friends
emerge out of flower
best version of me
try not to be angry
no attitude
try to be nice
do the best i can
improper examples
never forgive
but accept
forgive w/o forgetting
rising above her actions
rising above my actions
forgive her
forgive myself
using everything i know
the way i want to act
in control
not reacting the instinct way
always
step up to being an adult
i would like to that way
adult steps
avoid harsh, cruel, abrasive
don't want to see that embarrassing version of me
truly making my life, mine
embrace promise
march jaded
be proud
comfort in the routine
bar set too high
extraordinary everything really normal
i am normal too
work in progress
always room for improvement
continues on

[old poem written in a January, years ago. again how little we change, how much stays the same, internally. our battles stay the same. it is also so fascinating how deeply and knowledgeable i have always been about myself and so aware. it is a beautiful thing. happy new year]