ran away

i was going to say hello
but you ran away
i was going to say i love you
but i knew you wouldn't stay
(but i said it anyway)
i always put my all into to every toss of line
that pure hope encroaches on my sensibility
i want love
the seas is full of interesting creatures they say
who are they?
for me, there seems to only be you
but you ran away
you've been running away since our first time
a master illusionist
made me feel safe
so the walls slipped down
and i barely noticed
your skills
you saw the ins and outs of me
right away
the secret passageways
the cellar entrance to the depths of my heart
you penetrated
but then you ran away
so subtle
never breaking a sweat
not appearing like you are running
let alone, away
away from me
at all
but now i know better
you were always at arms length
and an ocean away
from this love
from our love
from Us
i was going to say hello
but you ran away
again
but this time i had asked you to stay away
give me space
when really all i was granting
was you the space
space that you had already placed between
all along
space that you have placed between you and the world
deeper and wider
than the Atlantic
my heart aches
but it will heal
and you will keep running
but away from what?
i don't know.
but it won't be me anymore