a new year

give self credit
hear the words you are saying
function
things to do
get out of the house
have purpose
underlying sadness
not a fly on the wall
shake her handle of my life
settled
don't want to be the fly
want to be in the mix
positively
going with the flow
try things
learn
not worrying
apathetic
scared
scary
what are rules?
stay in moment
life is a process of CHANGE
seeing good over bad
circles of friends
emerge out of flower
best version of me
try not to be angry
no attitude
try to be nice
do the best i can
improper examples
never forgive
but accept
forgive w/o forgetting
rising above her actions
rising above my actions
forgive her
forgive myself
using everything i know
the way i want to act
in control
not reacting the instinct way
always
step up to being an adult
i would like to that way
adult steps
avoid harsh, cruel, abrasive
don't want to see that embarrassing version of me
truly making my life, mine
embrace promise
march jaded
be proud
comfort in the routine
bar set too high
extraordinary everything really normal
i am normal too
work in progress
always room for improvement
continues on

[old poem written in a January, years ago. again how little we change, how much stays the same, internally. our battles stay the same. it is also so fascinating how deeply and knowledgeable i have always been about myself and so aware. it is a beautiful thing. happy new year]